Excuse Me! "You are parking in a handicap parking space," says an observer. "Thank you for your concern" you reply. Waiting and anticipating the observer’s next comment that goes something like "well, you don’t look particularly disabled." At that moment a horde of emotions flood in. These emotions range from anger to self-pity to doubt and guilt.

There are actually only three scenarios that I can think of that can be played out now. Let us look at each one. The first is to simply ignore the observer. Go into the store or wherever and hope they don’t follow. At this point, you are totally self- aware and maybe thinking great, now everyone is looking at me and thinking I’m a low life. The second scenario is to get angry with the observer and start yelling at him/her while using the name of the ADA in vain. Although you can certainly vent your anger, you are bringing probably more unwanted attention to yourself. Following your outburst, you are more self-conscious than ever. The guilt lingers for a long time after an episode like that. After living through many episodes of scenario’s 1 and 2, I started using scenario 3.

The third thing that you can do is to go up to the observer, pull out your DMV issued "paper placard" license and show it to the observer. Remember you must carry that piece of paper with you at all times in case the police ask for it. Then you can begin to explain your disability to the observer in minute detail. This works for me because I didn’t make a scene and I got my point across. The observer I think will think twice before blurting out to someone who doesn’t look disabled again. Of course you can also simply say thank you and keep walking.

As I’m sure you all have guess by now, I have a "hidden disability." What does the term "hidden disability" mean? It is a disability that is not immediately visibly evident. To the general public, for an individual to use a handicap parking space, that individual must be visibly impaired and using an assistive device such as a wheelchair or a cane, walker or etc. They do not realize that there are other physical problems that can render individuals disabled.

Some conditions that cause "hidden disabilities" are but are not limited to cardiac problems, pulmonary problems, post polio syndromes, intermittent claudication, some spinal cord problems, some developmental disabilities, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, etc. I apologize to those that I left out, I know that there are more. Also, those with psychological, emotional, visual, hearing disabilities more that likely wouldn’t have issues with handicap parking. If there is something I’m missing, I apologize.

Interestingly, the people that I spoke to who have had this problem have all gotten upset with the observer who questioned them. I must admit, I did too at one time. Should we be so harsh with the observer? Lets’ face it, these individuals who question us are advocates for our cause. For whatever the reason on that day and time, they are defending the disabled. They feel an obligation for whatever reason to protect that space for those who they think are really in need.

I think that we need to applaud these individuals. Sure it’s annoying, sure it makes us self-conscious but I think it’s worth it. Let’s not upset these gift advocates too much. Actually, I think that we should be nice to them and thank them for their concern. Say something like " thank you for your concern but I have a hidden disability." Of course, I may be right or wrong but that is my opinion.